How to find love?! The question is complex. Someone is lucky, and he meets his love in his youth, has a wedding after school, and lives with her or him all his life.
Others, slightly less fortunate, have to go through a lot of disappointments to meet their person. Some are hardened by such situations; others are broken. Love is difficult to find at any age - at 25, 37, and 56. It happens that love was, but stopped - betrayal, divorce, death of a spouse. This can happen to any person, and now many find themselves alone at the age of 60.
Sometimes people consciously or unconsciously choose that it is easier and more comfortable for them to live alone.
A person needs a person and even without a physical connection, but for communication for sure. To begin with, let's figure out whether people of retirement age are really waiting for love, looking for it. In general, when we talk about 60-year-old people, we are most often talking about women. Especially if we are talking about lonely people, therefore, we will focus on the priorities of women. But many men have the same needs.
People in their sixties rarely choose a psychologist in private practice. Rather, it can be called an exception. People of this age are conservative and will not come to a stranger to pour out their souls. Still, some of them come with problems. This almost always applies to personal life, since at this age rarely anyone works. In old age, you have the mistakes of your youth. The most frequent appeals are about loneliness and mutual understanding in the family. At this age, a person usually has a large family: sons, daughters, sons-in-law with daughters-in-law, and grandchildren.
As for the problem of loneliness, it is a problem of any age, but of course, people in their sixties also have it.
Not many people in their sixties are looking for a soul mate. The older a person is, the more difficult it is for him to change his familiar environment and establish new connections. Of course, there are personality types who want to be active: travel, guests, events. Such people use the Internet. They also use dating services and newspaper ads.
Most older people are not interested in finding a partner. They do not want to bring a stranger into their home, introduce them to their family and share their personal space. Almost every person is focused on not being annoyed by a partner, accepting a family and grandchildren, and being accepted by them in return.
At the same time, it is believed that the last love is the strongest. Therefore, some older people are still looking for a couple. For them, this is not a question of sexual compatibility, but a spiritual connection and mental closeness, the ability to hear a partner and understand their own desires. However, this is what you want from a partner even at a younger age.
One of the great ways to find a partner is online dating. To do this, you need to use a quality and reliable dating site that is easy to use. Quickflirt is an online dating site that is suitable for people over 60. It is designed to enable people from all over the world to chat and flirt. It has many users, matches search filters, and is user-friendly, allowing women to send messages to men. In addition, this dating site is not only for chatting but also for viewing profiles, activities, continuous messages, and even dating.
In addition, sharing of pornographic photos and other similar activities is prohibited on this dating site. Once discovered, the administrator will eventually report and lock the user account. This is in line with strict adherence to rules and regulations designed to prevent any malicious activity. This dating site complies with national laws against cyberbullying, fraud, pornography, human trafficking, etc.
The first thing a single sixty-year-old needs to do is understand why he or she needs a relationship. What does he want from them, and what concessions does he or she agree to?
Men at this age have accumulated life experience. They already understand what they are ready to put up with and what they do not accept. They are pragmatic, and they are looking for a woman who will take care of them, cook and wash - to maintain everyday comfort. For this generation of men, everyday comfort is a valuable component of life. Men who are looking for young partners want to create a good picture. Such a partner is a symbol of a man's capabilities, his fresh achievements. He wants to show himself and the whole world that he is young at heart.
A woman of sixty does not want to go out alone. The man is important to her in social and secular aspects. More chances are for those men with whom a woman is pleased to go to an event, visit, or an anniversary. Relationships between people are more likely to take place if the aspirations of a man and a woman coincide and mutually complement each other.
Most likely, if a woman who, by the age of 60, did not organize a family, but wanted it, has internal problems that torment her. They need to be resolved as soon as possible since therapy is indicated only until the age of 55. After that, it is very difficult to solve the problems. Further - only psychological support of the patient.
It so happens that children or other family members treat the new chosen ones of their grandparents badly. A new person will not immediately become a family. And, if the one who brought him or her, on a romantic wave, has loyalty to his partner, then the rest of the family will first treat him with increased vigilance.
Another thing is a trusting relationship between a man and a woman, their children and grandchildren. Then everyone can agree.
If a man chooses a young woman, the age of his children, then his family will certainly think that the young woman is selfish in her choice. If you observe how famous men over 60 behave, it is clear that they want to show that they are in good shape.
The advantages of living together for 60+ people are obvious. It's always easier to survive together. Especially two older people with little income. They also receive a resource in the form of new young relatives who, in theory, can help in solving problems.
The disadvantages are a long adaptation to the mental, physiological, and age characteristics of the partner. If he or she gets sick - are you ready to care for him? And if he or she dies, you will relive the loss of a loved one anew. In addition, everyday questions: someone snores, someone splashes water from the bath, does not close the toilet lid. This can be annoying, especially if you've lived alone for the last 10 to 15 years. It also happens if you haven't completely let go of your former partner. For some, adaptation is easier; for others, it is psychological trauma.
Partners at this age rarely enter into official relations. Their marriage can create problems for children in the division of property. This happens only sometimes, because of upbringing, or when they are really ready to take obligations to each other. But if one partner wants this and the other does not, then this can be a problem for two.
Divorce is always stressful. It's not easy to start over. The situation is especially complicated if the news of the breakup came as a complete surprise to the person. So, how to get through this period and return to a happy life.
The observations of psychologists suggest that a painful divorce can cause psychological trauma. If you don`t notice it in time and do not start taking action, then after some time, it can transform into post-traumatic stress disorder. The person may develop obsessive thoughts about the traumatic event, nightmares, anxiety, and violent expressions of emotion in response to a trigger reminiscent of a breakup.
In order not to find yourself in such a state, it is important to assess the risks of its occurrence in a timely manner.
RISKS OF DIVORCE
STEPS TO A HAPPY LIFE
Accept the breakup.
If you were told a firm "no," and even more, so the former partner had another partner, you must accept the fact that this story is over for you. This important step will help you reach a point in your life from which you can push off. If you maintain the hope of a continuation, you will not be able to help yourself, because why do something, if soon everything will return to its place again, you just have to wait for a little. Remember, this wait can drag on for years.
If you feel that the pain is unbearable, then this exercise will help shift the focus of attention from the head to the body. Place both feet on the floor with your feet flat on the floor. Feel your feet, close your eyes and imagine that you are a tree that grows with its entire powerful root system into the ground. Stay in this state until you feel calm. Perhaps you can focus on contemplating the clouds, or a river will begin to gleam in front of your inner gaze. Consider the details of this picture and learn how to supplement it with some new details. Over time, you can easily learn to calm yourself in any stressful situation by going to this safe place.
Reduce pain. Remember, the main rule of dealing with mental pain is the same as physical injury. Diagnose the causes, take pain relievers and start treatment. So, diagnostics. Go through the list of risks that are listed at the beginning. What exactly hurt you the most? This is exactly what we need to fight
Initial pain relievers are people who love you. Call friends and family, but only those who are willing to listen and support you. You do not need to communicate with people who will aggravate your emotional state.
Cry and grieve as much as you need. If this is not done, then not only sadness, heartache, despair will be blocked, but also joy, happiness, inspiration, and the possibility of falling in love again in the future.
Find a source for maintaining serotonin and dopamine levels. The best helpers will be sports, sun, and proper nutrition.
Serotonin is most effectively raised by antidepressants, but these should be used if you are already depressed and have been prescribed by your doctor. If you are a supporter of natural methods, then consult a nutritionist. He will advise on appropriate nutrition to aid in the delivery of the amino acid tryptophan, which is responsible for the synthesis of serotonin.
Psychologist Viktor Frankl wrote about the need for an existential turn: you need to stop asking yourself the question "why do I need this?" and start asking, "what can I take away from this?" With this formulation of the question, you can find that thanks to what happened, you became close to family and friends, found new interests, and became, on the whole, a completely different person.