It is thought that men should take responsibility and always pay for dates, but that is not always true. Generally, a man should take the initiative and bear all the expenses when he asks a girl out. If you approached her first, be prepared to pay the bill, too. Communication is the key to success, though, and exchanging your thoughts on difficult issues helps lay the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Should men pay for everything in a relationship? Of course not! Not every guy is financially secure to manage those costs, and that is when experts believe it is okay for women to chip in. Sharing the cost on dates is the best option in so many cases, but ensuring both partners are on the same page is vital.
So many modern women understand the fact that nothing comes free in life, and when you are on a date where the guy pays for everything, he might think you owe her something later. To keep you happy and satisfied, it is always a good idea to cover the cost of your drink.
Some experts believe that women should let the guy pay for the first three dates, and they should go Dutch or decide to split everything evenly. Guys do not know that most girls are perfectly okay with the idea of splitting the bill evenly. Women are now self-sufficient and highly independent individuals and they feel good when they could pay for their meals. It also saves them from feeling obligated to act a particular way just because the guy has arranged everything for them.
Women should come prepared and ensure that they can handle the bill if he does not pay for it. You should offer to pay but stop if he insists. Keep in mind that so many guys find it extremely sexy when they see a woman want to split the bill. But, if the guy decides not to pitch in at all and leave you with the bill, he may not be mature enough to manage a relationship. It is also a sign that you should be looking elsewhere and find a better partner.
Who should really pay while dating gets as confusing as you make it to be, so learn to relax a little and understand the importance of having a discussion. If he is so interested in asking you out, he will surely find a way to pay the bill as well.
Remember going Dutch etiquette, but also know why most men decide to handle the bill independently. For instance:
They do it to prove they are self-sufficient. Women do not want to be with a man who cannot support himself or is not likely to reach self-sufficiency any time soon. Of course, there are women who are not "status-conscious," but paying for a date shows your drive to achieve better in life.
They do it to send a signal that it is indeed a romantic meeting and not just a casual hangout where two friends can split the bill. By insisting on paying the bill, a man adds a layer of formality to tag it as a romantic date.
They do it to show they can properly play the role of a provider if the relationship translates into something more serious. Showing that you are capable and willing to behave like a responsible man is extremely attractive to women.
Again, it depends on how financially secure and stable you feel you are. There are no upper limits for sure, but it is a good idea to be a bit conservative. Know the woman better, which can be done over a drink as well.
If it leads to a second date, make it as special as you want. It is not a great idea to take a girl you barely know to some expensive and exquisite restaurants and never meet again then. The right partner will only consider the chemistry you share with her instead of the money you end up spending. Do not put yourself in a bad position just because you want to create an impression.
Most girls want their partner to pay on the first date, and others secretly desire this. However, guys can handle the situation with some maturity to ensure it does not hurt them financially.
Of course, not – so long as you two share a good rapport and do not mind discussing tough issues with each other. But, if you are asking her out, know that you should be gracious enough to bear the expenses. Here, you need to avoid a common mistake. You do not want to be a guy who asks a girl out but insists that she picks the place. And it falls apart when she happens to go for the most expensive place in town. Do everything you can to avoid getting into one such situation. If you are paying, you should be the one deciding where to go, what activities to enjoy, and how long the date should last.
As mentioned already, the first dates are on you but plan the outing as per your budget. If you are the one in the driver's seat, she will have to sail along saying "yes" to whatever you have already planned. Of course, you should not try to cut corners and put in your best effort to make it as memorable and enjoyable as possible, but try not to go overboard with the idea of impressing her with money. Even if you plan things carefully, you may spend a lot of money if you go on a lot of dates. Nevertheless, you can manage it better by looking up on the internet for the best date ideas that cost you next to nothing.
You will find most guys willing to pay for dates because it is a way to send a message of their true intentions. But, there are reasons why women would want to split the tab or even pay the bill on their own.
She does it to feel self-sufficient and independent, but it could be for other reasons too.
When she offers to pay, she may tell you that it is not a formal date, and she sees it as a casual meeting with a friend. It is not a bad thing per se, but you will have a hard time coming out of that "friend zone" and enjoy something serious.
She is likely to pay for the bill if she approached you first. A guy should certainly insist on paying but also respect her decision. A better idea would be to split the tab.
She may decide to pay if she is not happy with the date and is thinking of not seeing you again.
There are many reasons why you should adopt this new-age dating rule and decide to split the bill on dates. For instance:
It helps get rid of the awkwardness and making it easier to relax.
It saves you from the guilt in case you do not make it to the second date.
It levels the playing field so that you can talk freely about your likes and dislikes.
It means you are coming with low expectations and are ready to deal with any outcome of this romantic meeting.
If you are contemplating the idea of going Dutch, do not leave the conversation for the last minute. Instead of splitting the bill, you can also split the "date activities." If your plan is to go for dinner and a movie, let her pay for the movie while you pay for the meal. And when your partner agrees, do not make a big deal out of it and focus more on enjoying the moment. Also, do not argue or fight unnecessarily when your partner insists on paying. Overall, you should be open to all options and do not let society's old dating rules sway you from what you think or believe.
In most cases, men should be the ones to pay for dates. With mutual understanding, you can split the bill after the third date. But, it is okay to let a woman pay if that makes her feel independent and happy. Sometimes, she takes it as a point of pride to handle herself and does not "owe" you anything after the date. In this case, respect her values and let her take care of everything.