Before thinking about breaking up, weigh all aspects of your life together. Hormonal restructuring of the female body is a long-lasting event, and what seems like a disaster to you today can become an absurd hysteria after childbirth.
According to the law, during pregnancy, a marriage is dissolved at the request of the woman or by mutual consent of the parties if the initiator of the separation is a man. By the way, he will not be able to satisfy his desire for freedom until the celebration of 1 year of the baby's life, but often by this time, the misunderstanding of the spouses evaporates. Another question is whether you need to keep a person close to you. An aggressive man will not bring harmony and can be dangerous.
The first thing that distinguishes divorce during pregnancy from other situations is uncertainty. It is difficult to predict the outcome of events, and the first thing a woman must decide on is whether she will keep the child. Separation, as a separate event, cannot cause abortion. Therefore, before overcoming difficulties, make a final decision.
How to survive divorce during pregnancy? Start with money, you need it now, and you will need it in the future. The legislation seeks to support mothers in difficult situations in every possible way. You have the right to demand maintenance from your spouse, which will be supplemented by alimony in the future.
Calculate the benefits. Now the desire of the spouse to find freedom has no value. Weigh your personal benefit; maybe in a year, the "bonuses" from the gap will be more attractive? Do not follow the lead of a man's desire, because being married, it is not necessary to live with the husband himself.
Feel free to demand maintenance and alimony. No matter who initiated it, let go of the blame and think about the future. You can qualify for good financial support throughout your pregnancy and three more years after giving birth. Add to this child support, benefits, and payments from the state, and the most difficult period can be met not poorly.
Accept help. In addition to friends and family, do not refuse to participate in maintaining your standard of living for your ex-husband and his family. Try to break up and maintain a normal relationship; then, there will always be a chance to come to an agreement.
Being in a position, a woman should understand that emotional torment is now not the most important thing in life. Providing yourself and your child with a financial cushion is much more important, so approach the issue in a business-like manner. Leave the phrases “I can do everything myself.” No doubt you can handle any situation, but why expend energy where it can be saved.
Divorce during pregnancy is a colossal abyss that absorbs positive and vitality. It is difficult to survive depressing moods against the background of frequent mood swings, especially since the devastation and depression of the mother can negatively affect the very little one. During this period, you need to learn to work with your mind and feeling.
Pregnancy takes away from a woman the opportunity to be selfish. Your body now does not belong only to you, and this must not be forgotten. Feelings of shame, guilt, and pain cannot be accumulated within yourself; you must speak out and restore emotional balance. Do not risk the well-being of the crumbs and contact specialists before the onset of lingering apathy.
By attending the sessions, you will have the opportunity to learn how a pregnant woman can cope with divorce:
You can tell everything.
Learn about interesting and helpful women's communities in your city.
Hear a lot of helpful tips.
Apply good practices to restore inner balance.
Among other things, conversations with a specialist are in themselves a great excuse to get out of the house.
You are convinced that the chosen man is not ready to be a father and is not suitable for the role of a life partner. Life with such a person does not bode well, but be aware of the consequences.
The man decided to get out of the relationship. Stories about a breakup during pregnancy are not uncommon, and often both spouses notice a deterioration in relations. If you want to keep in touch with this person, then do not destroy the last bridge. Disappointed husbands often return to their ex-wives after 1–2 years of separation.
Mutual decision to disperse is good because, in most cases, people are ready to solve issues together. The main thing is to instill in a man the idea that he is a future father, and divorce does not remove responsibility.
It is sometimes wise to postpone active divorce proceedings until the postpartum period. Now time and efforts are needed not by the ex-spouse and jointly acquired property but by the unborn child. Assess your capabilities right away, enlist the support of loved ones, live these precious months without hassle and division of property.
If I knew when I saw you for the last time that this was the last time, I would try to remember your face, your walk, everything connected with you. And if I knew the last time I kissed you that this was the last time, I would never stop.
Your footprints will disappear in an hour, but she will never forget you. And you never told her. Life is shorter than you think. Love while you can ...
Sooner or later, there comes the point when your paths diverge. Everyone chooses his own path, thinking that someday they will converge again. But over time, they get further and further. At first, you think it's normal: “You are made for each other; because sooner or later everything will return. " However, this does not happen. Instead, winter comes. And you suddenly realize that it's over. Once and for all. And at this moment, you realize that some things happen only once in a lifetime. It doesn't matter how hard you try to feel it again. You will never again rise three meters above the sky.
How do you come to terms with this and become a happy woman and mother? Well, firstly, you need to think about the good (even if you don’t want to), you need to think about the fact that now "single mother" does not sound hopeless anymore. Many women consciously choose motherhood without a husband because they have not met a suitable person, and they want to become a mother. A family where there is only a mother and a child is also a family, and it will depend on you. Here's what you need to do to help yourself cope with everything and be happy:
Step # 1
Believe - That the family can be incomplete and at the same time give the child everything he needs. - It is better not to have a father next to the child than to be one who does not love, does not care, and constantly quarrels with his mother.
Step # 2
Forgive a man. Do you hate him? Are you offended by him? This threatens that you will have the same feelings for the child. After all, this is HIS child. Remember that for a baby, dad and mom are two halves. If they say: "your dad is bad," the child understands this as "you are bad." If they say, “your mother is bad,” the child feels that he is being scolded. Often single mothers who have retained a grudge against their husbands tell their children reproachfully: "You are as mean (stupid, clumsy, etc.) as your father!" Do not develop complexes and self-doubt in your child. You had feelings; now you will have a child. Thank the man for this and forgive. And a child is a different person. This is YOUR person.
Step # 3
If you recently broke up with the child's father, you need to rebuild your brain from thinking about HIM to thinking about the CHILD. Those around him often make things worse with their consolations: "Stop thinking about him, soon the baby will appear, you will have happiness!" Many expectant mothers try to close their eyes and forbid themselves to think about who quit, about whom they cannot be together, forbid themselves to grieve. And this is so wrong! After all, resentment, suffering, anger will surely make themselves felt in the future and can spoil the attitude towards the baby. To switch to the baby and start a new life, you need to go through the breakup, cry and then start a new life with your child.
Step # 4
Coping with Guilt - Don't blame yourself for failing to create a normal family. Families are different, and the main thing is not that the child grows up next to his father, but that he is loved. You will love him, grandparents, your friends. He will still have a family! - Do not blame yourself that the man does not want to be with you. People break up not because someone is bad but because they don't fit together. And now you have a chance to find your man, the one who suits you and wants to be with you!
It seems to you that other expectant mothers always walk with their husbands; they gently stroke them on the stomach, accompany them to children's stores for cute sliders, choose a crib together. Do not be sad, firstly, not all husbands devote a lot of time to their wives, not all have time to walk, and very often happy and married people go to the doctors and to the park alone. And you are not alone! You have friends; you have colleagues at work, relatives. It's good if you can take courses for pregnant women - everyone will support you there. In addition, there are special courses for single mothers. Consider that there are pluses to being alone! You have the opportunity to live in comfort - walking around the house in old comfortable stretched T-shirts, not worrying about how you look, sleeping with your belly on the whole bed, not suffering from nausea due to your husband's strong smelling cologne, and because the father-to-be loves the garlic, you hate. Friends will always help to screw in a light bulb to assemble a crib. Make arrangements with neighbors or relatives to be ready when it's time to go to the hospital.
Pregnancy is a time when many processes in a woman's psyche occur nonlinearly. At times, it is completely unclear what to expect from a pregnant woman. And these changes concern, first of all, the inner world of a woman (that is, from the inside, they are even more noticeable), and of course, the closest people - the future father, parents, mother-in-law, and father-in-law.
Often, the first people who caught these changes are relatives - the pregnant woman herself did not track the changes - all her abilities are tuned to sensitive listening to the new, emerging life.
What changes can be expected from the woman herself, how relationships in the family are changing, and how these changes prepare parents for the future birth of a child, relying on the traditional periodization of pregnancy: the first, second, third trimesters, the prenatal period.
A woman may become moody, depressed, or overly anxious during this time. And the task of loved ones, the husband, first of all, is to understand, feel and support the pregnant woman.
Some difficulty lies in the fact that a rare woman in the first three months of pregnancy (especially the first one) is able to clearly articulate her anxieties and needs or even simply explain and express her states in words.
The main result in relationships during this period is the passage of a running test for the strength of relations and the formation of a reliable marital team capable of taking responsibility for each other and the unborn child.
During the second trimester, when the belly is rounded and the child's movements begin to be felt, in a woman, the mental instability of the first trimester gives way to specific protection from external anxieties and too strong stimuli and experiences.
By the end, fewer and fewer questions seriously concern the woman. A pregnant woman is almost constantly in a state of listening to herself, her feelings, the movements of the child. And they are already very tangible, these shocks with arms and legs. Many thoughts come about the child and his future.
A woman, who was previously very domineering, decisive, and active, can gladly transfer the solution of many external issues to her husband. She herself now has completely different concerns.
In order to make it easier for everyone after childbirth, try to change something in your relationship while the baby is inside. Let your partner, who is accustomed to receiving maximum care and attention, learn to take care and support himself. Think of it as a kind of training.