How to Find a Sex Buddy
So, for whatever reason, you feel that you want to enter into an arrangement where you have casual sex with someone that you like and trust. This is the essence of the “friends with benefits” relationship, and despite what people say, it works for many.
If you are looking for casual sex, girls may find it harder than men. Why? Well, there is the obvious societal double standards; casual sex is seen as normal for men, but as a moral issue for women. For women, in this case, sex with a friend is safer and more comfortable. If you have been wondering how to get fucked, or if you have someone in mind for a FWB arrangement, we have some advice as to how you can find a fuckbuddy that clicks with you.
How to Get a Fuckbuddy
1. Consider Online Options;
The dating site is a great way to connect with people who are seeking connections and arrangements to find good sex. When you are looking for a fuckbuddy, you really only have to consider how attractive you find them, and whether or not they are looking for a similar arrangement.
2. Pick the Right Person;
Whether you look for a totally new person, or you have a friend in mind, you need to make sure that you are picking the right person for you (and for this kind of arrangement). Pick someone that you don’t have romantic feelings for, that doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, and that you are certain will not become jealous, possessive, or clingy.
3. Broach the Subject;
If there is someone in your life that you already fancy for a touch of buddy sex, then you need to find out where they stand on the idea. First, you should identify if they are available. This means available in all senses; they should be single, looking for some kind of interaction, and they should be emotionally and mentally available.
Surely, we hear you say, there is no need for someone to be emotionally and mentally available – this isn’t a relationship, after all! The truth, however, is that they need to be open to the dynamic that is on the table in a “friends with benefits” arrangement, and they need to be stable enough to cope with the unique parameters that a FWB situation presents.
4. Define It ASAP;
Ideally, you should both enter into the arrangement with your eyes open and your reservations and concerns addressed. However, it is equally likely that an arrangement will arise because of a drunken kiss or an unexpected tryst. If a drunken night out becomes a one-night stand that you want to take further, it is key that you define the parameters of the relationship quickly.
Either way, take the time to discuss whether you will be seeing other people, whether you will hang out outside of your “hook-ups,” whether you will tell mutual friends, etc. The goal, especially if the person is a friend, is to be able to end things cleanly and without pain when the time comes. A FWB arrangement is, by its nature, temporary – whether you meet someone else or your “arrangement” evolves things.
5. Get Tested Before You Get Started;
Because your sexbuddy dynamic will be non-committed and non-exclusive by nature, it is key that you practice safe sex in all ways. Make sure that you both get tested for STIs and STDs before you sleep together, and even discuss whether or not you will both get tested anytime you sleep with a new partner.
Educate yourself about what safe sex means in practice, and more importantly, put it into practice.
Maintaining Your FWB Arrangement
Once you have the casual sex arrangement that you want, the key is maintaining it in a way that keeps both of you happy, excited, and, most importantly, satisfied! To that end, you need
• Communicate: If you start to notice feelings creeping in, or if they begin to act in a jealous or emotional way, you must talk about what’s going on to make sure that the arrangement still works for you!
• Stay Sexy: Whether you like it or not, the fuckbuddy relationship is a primarily physical one. You may well like them as a person and friend, but the attraction is what spurs this relationship on. Stay fit, stay healthy, and stay sexy if you want to feed the flame.
• Give and Take: A casual sex or sexbuddy relationship exists with the aim that you both get off, so make sure that you give and get in this dynamic!
A friends with benefits relationship should be fulfilling, fun, and exciting; don’t let things get too heavy. Have fun and stay safe!
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